In the foothills of the badlands, southwest of Broken Hill Copyright © S R Schwarz 2007. All rights reserved.
lived an ugly hairy Ogre, he probably lives there still.
You’d find the bloody corpses with their throats all ripped and torn.
“He’s just a sicko bastard,” was all they would concede.
Concerns a fluffy rabbit, but let me say this first:
But also all the nasty things involving snot and faeces.
Watch out for hairy ogres, especially in bed.
ogre of Broken Hill
the pact
Once upon a Frosty Friday The pact they packed up tight and good Each went about her daily life Their tragic story must be told The second time there was a wedding Keeping to their pact of purdah Three sisters, two, and then just one Copyright © S R Schwarz 2007. All rights reserved.
In the merry month of May
Seven sisters swore a secret pact
To bind them night and day
Within a pactbox made of wood
Seven sisters thought that that was that
Or so they thought they understood
They had no worries, no trouble, no strife
Forgotten was the deadly pact
Until the first became a wife
Six sisters bought but one was sold
The bride price paid was very steep
But not in silver or in gold
That night five sisters softly treading
Into the bedroom quiet as thieves
With knives they stabbed the bridal bedding
Required another act of murder
The fourth in pain died screaming, crying
The others broken-hearted heard her
Went out and bought a pretty gun
And held it to her pretty head
Then, bang! The sister's pretty dead.
pie are squared
Approach the portal slowly but not reluctantly Copyright © S R Schwarz 2007. All rights reserved.
nor abandon hope as you pierce the membrane
beyond which spacetime embraces the divine singularity
where Oroboros coils within the Schwarzschild Radius
and the infinite reflections of Indra's Net
reverberate across the cosmic heartstrings
in the diamond harmonies of creation
everywhere, everywhen, everyhow.
sexual preferences
For many men sex now and then is not enough,
in contrast though, most women know that "no" means "no"
and less is more and fast is slow,
and if not now she'll tell him when
the action can begin again.
Copyright © S R Schwarz 2007. All rights reserved.
pathetic poetry (refresh/home)
quack, quack, the dogs do bark
Silver assassins deified
Insidious fedaheen exemplified
Qua?
Mutinous taxicabs glorified Hellacious orthodontists stupefied Dubious qualia emphasised Copyright © S R Schwarz 2007. All rights reserved.
Glutinous agglomerates gentrified
Quo?
Stupendous dazzlement typified
Quid?
Golden marmadukes euthanized
Que?
the art of writing poetry
Radical action roots in the loamy soil Copyright © S R Schwarz 2007. All rights reserved.
truffle-hunting hogs deprived of their prize
prisoners executed in boiling oil
speculative spectators with owlish eyes
bawdy bards shuffling off this mortal coil
in the excluded middle between truth and lies.
seasonal affective disorder
In a season of badness Copyright © S R Schwarz 2007. All rights reserved.
a man at the border
of evil and madness
bought a whore and he pawed her
fucked without gladness
back-doored her, abhorred her
dark days are for sadness
affective disorder.
divine masturbation
Long, long ago at the dawn of time Copyright © S R Schwarz 2007. All rights reserved.
even before the primordial slime
stretching ahead were all the millennia
in which quite a lot if not more even many a
tragic mistake or foul evil plot
lay in the future but not the year dot.
At the start of the writing of history's first page
when many an era, an aeon, an age
loomed far ahead to the greatest extent
took place an extremely dramatic event.
Some call it the Bang that was huge if not Big
(please pass me my drink and light me a cig)
it wasn't just big, the bang was gigantic
God's mood was mellow and very romantic.
Everything yearns to reproduce
any excuse to cut loose and seduce
So it's not all that strange, unusual or odd
to find thoughts of love in the mind of a God.
How else could the world have ever been born
so long ago on the very first morn?
But who was the female and who was the male?
What was the hammer and what was the nail?
What was the yin and what was the yang?
Who entered whom in the biggest Big Bang?
Was it asexual parthenogenesis
dividing one self to avoid the nemesis
that some say is death and some say is life
when you don't need a husband nor even a wife?
When God made the world in an act of creation
maybe it was just divine masturbation.
the Legend of the Dog-faced Woman
Once two kids of Satan's spawn Every year there is a date When children disrespect their mums If you're a child who's loud or bold The mother who can't cope, it seems Now she has no sleepless nights "You're a stinking little turd," If you say "shake!" she'll lift her paw Copyright © S R Schwarz 2007. All rights reserved.
an evil boy, the girl a bitch
came upon a magic thorn
with which they pricked a poor old witch
and that was how the curse was sworn
and so it was that then was born
the Legend of the Dog-faced Woman.
on which all parents hold a feast
they eat and drink and celebrate
a certain hairy, monstrous beast
who growls as bad kids meet their fate
so listen up as I relate
the Legend of the Dog-faced Woman.
or fail to listen to their dads
when kids forget to wipe their bums
or won't switch channels in the ads
or scream or sulk or suck their thumbs
tell them a tale, and here it comes:
The Legend of the Dog-faced Woman.
evil, wicked, bad or naughty
who in the dirty mud has rolled
a child who's proud or rude or haughty
with hair of black or brown or gold
pay attention when you're told
the Legend of the Dog-faced Woman.
will mope or moan or groan or whine
down her cheeks the weeping streams
it's sad, it's wrong, it's far from fine
her naughty kids do haunt her dreams
one day into their ears she screams
the Legend of the Dog-faced Woman.
she tucks her kids into their beds
before she turns out all the lights
she kisses and she strokes their heads
it's one of nature's cutest sights
she smiles and smirks as she recites
the Legend of the Dog-faced Woman.
said the father to his son
"to you it never has occurred
there's more to life than having fun
now listen to my every word
and don't forget that you have heard
the Legend of the Dog-faced Woman."
this member of the canine species
she'll urinate upon the floor
or leave behind a gift of faeces
she's the ugliest thing you ever saw
but only the stupidest kids ignore
the Legend of the Dog-faced Woman.
